I normally post at Ukraine Adoption Blog and I will continue to do so. But I was given an opportunity to post on my recent research.

I would like to adopt a second child and I have been exploring my options; foster, domestic, international. Getting Started with my second adoption has been so much harder than my first adoption.

Maybe I am just more aware of what can go wrong.... more

Haiti has long been known as one of the more difficult countries from which to adopt. I confess, though, that I find myself a bit perturbed at comments like, “I don’t know how you could ever stand to adopt from Haiti. It’s so LONG (or hard, or rocky or unstable other unpleasant adjective),” because the thing is, I believe you go where your kids are. We may not enjoy every moment of a difficult adoption journey, but those of us with kids in Haiti must simply grin and bear it. And darn it – some of us need to be adopting from Haiti!

"Grinning and bearing" an adoption from Haiti has taken on a whole new dimension, of late. Over the past few months, Haitian adoption... more

Tomorrow I will celebrate my birthday. As I contemplate my life thus far, I have also been thinking about my actual birth day. Today as I pulled weeds from our backyard, I thought about the privilege I have in knowing the details of my birth. It is not a luxury most of my children can claim.

Whenever my children have a birthday, they ask me questions about their birth. They want to know what time they were born. They want to know what day of the week they were born on. Together we imagine what things might have been like for their birth and their birth mother. For one of my children, I know everything about her birth. For two of my children, I know a few bits and pieces of... more

Here is a sample IBESR letter that our agency, Foyer de Sion wrote and included in their adoption packet. We used it as an idea for how to write our own. I am providing this information because I have been asked how to go about writing the IBESR letter. Please do not copy it and “fill in the blanks”. Use it as a guide only.

The IBESR letter should be a positive letter, not apologetic. This is the one chance the clients have to personally prove themselves. The other documents are about them, but they are not written by them. The whole point of this letter is to explain to IBESR why the client would be a wonderful parent for these... more

Continued from Part Five...

My personal philosophy is to let a newly adopted child eat as much as they want in the beginning. You do have to be careful that they not gorge themselves to the point of vomiting and/or physical discomfort. Maybe many smaller meals all day long would work better, but do not limit them. It might make them feel more insecure. In the beginning let them eat, with very little restrictions. (Obviously you want to get them to eat healthy food as much as possible.) I remember a story once about an adoptive mom who was upset about the daycare her son was in. He had recently... more

Continued from Part Four...

An older child will have his or her own issues. They could exhibit one or all of the symptoms below:

Gorging—the child will eat until they can hold no more. They will often vomit or be in physical pain.

Hoarding—the child will hide food in the rooms, or in school backpacks, or random places around your home.

Stealing—the child will steal food and either eat it right away, or hide it somewhere they deem safe.

Lying—the child will be dishonest about stealing food, or about how much food they have or haven’t eaten.

Extreme pickiness—the... more

Continued from Part Three...

Most children adopted internationally will not be used to the abundance of their new home. One of the biggest changes for them might be food. For children who are used to small, scheduled meals, or always feeling hungry, or the same meal for every meal, life with their new family will most likely create quite an array of emotions and adjustments in the food department. They might be over-stimulated by the choices and quantities of food placed before them at meals. A simple trip to the grocery store could send your new child into sensory overload. Even a well-stocked... more

Continued from Part Two...

Then we adopted three kids from Ethiopia—a nine year old, a four year old, and a seven month old. In the beginning we didn’t think our 9 and 4 year olds had any serious food issues. They did not hoard food like some children do. They ate the things they liked, and refused the things they didn’t like. All seemingly normal. As time passed, we began to notice that we were wrong. Our 9 year old daughter was extremely picky. She hated nearly everything we gave her, unless it was loaded with sugar. She would throw food away and lie about it. She would fain illness in restaurants,... more

Continued from Part One...

In my experience as an adoptive mom to internationally adopted children, I have noticed that food seems to be an issue for nearly every internationally adopted child. At least I have seen it in all of my children that we have adopted or are adopting (from other countries), whether they were adopted as babies or as older children.

Our first child was eight months old when we adopted her. She was living in a foster home type of setting with a few other babies to be adopted. She was small, but also of a healthy size. The first night we had her with us, she ate and... more

The first time we met Georgia in Haiti, she would eat anything we placed in front of her. She was shy and wary of us, but when it came to food, she was all business. She would take any bite we offered with our forks, without hesitation. When she was eating, she didn't care what we were doing. It was a good time to take her photo or video her.

Between the first and second visit, Georgia was moved to Talley’s orphanage. We wanted them to be together, so that they would get used to each other’s presence.

When we went to Haiti for our second visit, we could see a noticeable change in Georgia. She looked a little heavier and was much more at ease with us. Another thing... more