Continued from Part Three…

If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject.

And more responses:

Agency 5

It is a matter of opinion.......about half of our parents do and the others do not. I myself from a personal stand point think it would be very difficult to leave the child once I held... more

Continued from Part Two…

The question posed:

If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject.

And another response:

Agency 4

Here is my opinion. One visit would definitely be great. You can take a photo album to your child, you can take him/her some special items. S/he can meet... more

Continued from Part One…

This was the question posed by a friend of a friend to a handful of adoption agencies:

If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject.

And here are the various responses (both pro and con, and somewhere in between) she received:

Agency 1

You are correct -... more

My husband and I have visited our girls in Haiti twice now … once in July of 2006 and then again in September of 2006. I was fully prepared to go on the next Parent Trip to Haiti this last January with our agency, but once the travel dates were announced; I realized that I should not go to Haiti again. There were many reasons behind this—financial, the stress of getting ready for a trip, the stress of the trip, leaving our other kids behind, leaving our daughters in Haiti. I wanted to see them, and yet I also knew that it was not the right decision to go.

Our agency just announced a new policy for their Parent Trips. Up until recently, they had Parent Trips every three months.... more

Continued from Part Two...

It was very upsetting for Tim and I. Now we're wondering what we could have done differently to avoid her having to ride the emotional roller-coaster right along with us. We hardly ever talk about the girls to the babies. We do have photos here and there. They have seen the videos. They have been told we are leaving to visit Georgia and Talley. But we really don't talk about them very much. In fact, it seems like the... more

Continued from Part One...

An excerpt from my online blog:

December 1, 2006:

Something sad happened tonight. Don't worry, it isn't anything terribly bad. Let me go back a few months. One day I was shopping at Walmart and saw a cute little black baby doll with a basket and bottle and other accessories. It was right before we went to Haiti for the first time. I wanted that doll for... more

A fellow adoptive mom was sharing her terrible day with an email-list I frequent. Her little daughter had had a dream that her new siblings were home. When she awoke and realized it wasn’t true, she was traumatized. It became clear to her mother just how much her daughter was missing her new baby brother and sister (who are still in Haiti). She emailed the list asking for advice.

It reminded me of a few experiences I have had with our kids when we are in the middle of an adoption. When Sahara was three years old, we were in the process of adopting Ryland. We... more

Continued from Part One...

In October of 2006, a new IBESR director was assigned. Her name is Madame Beaudin, and so far she has improved the process in IBESR and signed out hundreds of files.

The new hang-up is now with Civil Court. Adoption files are getting stuck there for months. Who knows what the reasons are? Civil Court was recently vandalized. They say they need time to clean-up before they can get back to signing files out. In Haiti, that could mean just about anything.

I have heard that files have been held up due to pride, stubbornness, and possible lack of bribes. If you ever travel... more

If you’re trying to decide whether or not to bring your child or children with you to their new sibling’s country of birth, you might find this list helpful:

The Pros

• Your child will get to see his sibling’s country of birth. He/she will be able to tell his/her sibling about their country from personal experience. • Your child will be able to bond with his/her new sibling without the distractions of regular life. • He/she will be able to understand exactly where their new sibling is coming from. It may enable them to treat them with more love and patience, and possibly feel less threatened by their arrival in the family. • Your child will... more

If you’re trying to decide whether or not to bring your child or children with you to their new sibling’s country of birth, you might find this list helpful:

The Cons

• Traveling might be too intense for your child. • Your child might get sick (Ryland did. We gave him Cipro, and thankfully he recovered quickly. However, it was worrisome for us at the time). • Your child will most likely be bored on the trip. This can be draining; trying to keep him/her entertained when you are busy with your new child and adoption arrangements, too. • You quite possibly will have to deal with siblingitis much sooner than you’d care to. This could make a stressful... more