Rude Questions & Comments

Continued from Part Two… We left Sears and went straight to Wal-Mart, where we were faced with an almost identical encounter to the one we’d just had at Sears: Experience #2: The cashier looked at my kids and said, "Are they adopted or are they foster kids?" I was miffed by the question, thinking, "Grrr...WHY does it matter?!" I curtly replied, "I adopted them and now they are mine." The cashier looked them over again and asked, "Are they from the same family?" Before I could process her question and answer it, she pointed at my Asian daughter and said, "Well, she's not from the same family. I can see that. But what about the… [more]

Continued from Part One… As I mentioned in Part One, it doesn’t matter how used to intrusive questions or comments one gets, you can and will still have times when you are thrown completely off-guard. In the past couple of years, we have become accustomed to hearing comments about our family size more often than adoption-related questions. We still get plenty of them, but they are usually harmless ones, and most often kind remarks about our “beautiful family”. So I was not expecting to have two negative encounters in a row recently (on the very same day, no less). Experience # 1: We were at Sears, buying new shoes for my two older daughters and myself. At the checkout… [more]

Adoptive families are a curiosity, and multi-racial adoptive families are even more so. When you adopt a baby or child that does not resemble you (as you most likely will if you adopt from Haiti), you can be guaranteed a rude comment, question or look here and there. In the beginning, the questions and/or comments can be upsetting and often catch you off-guard. You are unfamiliar with the attention and feel irritated about having to explain your family. You are often unsure of the best or correct way to respond. On one hand, you do not want to let your child think that a stranger’s curiosity is more important than their feelings or keeping their story… [more]