Should You Visit Your Child or Not?

Continued from Part Four... The question posed: If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject. And one last response: Agency 10 I would have to say YES, I believe parents should be allowed to visit prior to the adoption being finalized. I do not believe it is essential for families to travel, but I believe it is beneficial. Some families do not ever travel. There is a certain amount of risk associated with traveling prior to the adoption (the adoption stalling or not completing due to birth family, adoptive family, or government… [more]

Continued from Part Three… If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject. And more responses: Agency 5 It is a matter of opinion.......about half of our parents do and the others do not. I myself from a personal stand point think it would be very difficult to leave the child once I held them in my arms.......I have adopted 8 times and never visited before the adoption.....but that is personally my own feelings and others would definitely disagree. Hope that helps. Agency 6 We have always allowed it in the past, S, but _______ is… [more]

Continued from Part Two… The question posed: If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject. And another response: Agency 4 Here is my opinion. One visit would definitely be great. You can take a photo album to your child, you can take him/her some special items. S/he can meet you and begin to mentally prepare themselves for a life with you. The child can receive an explanation that this is simply a visit and that you would love to take him/her home but that you can't until the government allows you… [more]

Continued from Part One… This was the question posed by a friend of a friend to a handful of adoption agencies: If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this subject. And here are the various responses (both pro and con, and somewhere in between) she received: Agency 1 You are correct - there are pros and cons to both. However, in keeping with the best interest of the child - waiting to go until the adoption has been finalized - is generally the best approach. These children (especially older children) have been abandoned… [more]

My husband and I have visited our girls in Haiti twice now … once in July of 2006 and then again in September of 2006. I was fully prepared to go on the next Parent Trip to Haiti this last January with our agency, but once the travel dates were announced; I realized that I should not go to Haiti again. There were many reasons behind this—financial, the stress of getting ready for a trip, the stress of the trip, leaving our other kids behind, leaving our daughters in Haiti. I wanted to see them, and yet I also knew that it was not the right decision to go. Our agency just announced a new policy for their Parent Trips. Up until recently, they had Parent Trips… [more]