Continued from Part Five...

My personal philosophy is to let a newly adopted child eat as much as they want in the beginning. You do have to be careful that they not gorge themselves to the point of vomiting and/or physical discomfort. Maybe many smaller meals all day long would work better, but do not limit them. It might make them feel more insecure. In the beginning let them eat, with very little restrictions. (Obviously you want to get them to eat healthy food as much as possible.) I remember a story once about an adoptive mom who was upset about the daycare her son was in. He had recently come to America, and was frequently wanting to eat. At home, the adoptive mother took a laid-back approach and did not restrict his food intake that much. One day when the mother came to pick up her son from day-care, one of the workers greeted her with a disturbed look on her face, and proceeded to share what a selfish little boy the mother had. She had caught him in the kitchen and found that he had eaten several bananas. The worker was horrified and felt the mother needed to do something about her son’s alarming food consumption. I do not remember what the outcome was, but I do remember being impressed that the mother stuck up for her son. She continued to allow him to eat what he felt he needed and eventually he stopped over-eating on his own. I was really struck by this incident, and felt the mother was going about things in the right way. Of course we don’t want our children eating several bananas in one sitting, but it wasn’t a box of chocolates he’d downed. The bananas brought him comfort and satiation.

I have seen with my youngest son this same type of thing. He would eat and eat and eat. He was a little butterball. This lasted for a good year and a half before he started slowing down. Now he has a normal appetite and does not get upset over food.

I have heard of parents allowing their newly adopted child to carry around a piece of fruit and some crackers or a sandwich in a little backpack. This helps the child feel safe, because they know they have that little snack waiting for them. Other parents have a small cupboard or shelf that is easily accessible filled with healthy snacks that the child can help him or herself to whenever the need arises.

With older children, it is easy to find out if they are truly hungry or are feeling some other emotion and calling it hunger. After some time, the child can start to discern whether they are truly hungry.

Most children outgrow their food issues. It takes time, patience, and understanding.

What are your experiences with your adopted child and food?