Continued from Part Two…


Children being adopted from Haiti or other countries generally come home with some issues. Besides being developmentally delayed, they will most likely also be malnourished. They will most likely have skin problems (be it scabies or ringworm or molluskum). They will probably have quite a bit of dental work to be done. They may even come home very sick. They will be unsure of their place in your family and in their new country. They may have issues with food—gorging and hoarding. You can count on them to be grieving and/or feeling angry about how their life has changed. They might have attachment issues. They might be very distrustful of you. They will speak very little English. Depending on their age and circumstances, they may have had very little education in their country of birth. (Our daughter, Beth, had a very limited education in Ethiopia.) They will be up against quite a lot from the beginning.

Imagine a child with all of these issues and quite possibly more. Now throw them into the public school setting where they most likely will not know a single person at first. They cannot understand what people are saying to them. They are afraid that they might be getting abandoned again. They may not understand that school is temporary. They are the center of attention, whether it’s for good or bad, and yet they haven’t a clue what it’s all about. They do not understand what is expected of them academically or socially. They may not feel well, might be hungry, or may need to use the bathroom, but have no way of communicating their needs. They might get lost at school. They will likely feel frightened and quite possibly withdraw.

Say you take this same child, and instead of putting them into public school, you decide to homeschool them. You take your time teaching them at a rate they are comfortable with. They get to learn in a non-threatening environment. They will be able to make mistakes without feeling humiliated. Everything from learning English, to understanding American culture, to comprehending Math will be on their level in a relaxed setting. There won’t be pressure to “keep up”. They won’t have to pretend they understand what is happening or that they understand what they are learning, when they really don’t. Not only will it help with their education, but it will quite possibly make their adjustment into your family less traumatic; and will most definitely enable their bonding. They will get to learn what it is like to be in a family. Many children who have lived in orphanages or institutions need to learn what family is all about, and how to actually be a part of one. They will be able to grasp this concept quickly and more fully by being at home during the day.

Even children adopted at younger ages can benefit from homeschooling. Bonding takes time. Catching up developmentally, physically, and emotionally can take time, as well. Most children are better able to handle the public school setting after having been homeschooled in the beginning; whether they have just come to their new families, or have been home for a few years.

No one will understand your child and what he or she needs better than you.

We have seen wonders worked by teaching our children at home. They have bonded deeply to us and to each other; and I believe much more than they could have if they were still in public school. Beth has basically caught up to her chronological grade level, and in some ways surpassed it. All of our children have become better readers, are more creative, have better imaginations, and are happier people than they were when they attended public school. We have been able to help our children with attachment issues much easier, because we don’t have the disruption of them being in school all day, and having to deal with school teachers and officials who do not understand attachment issues. It has been a blessing for our family in so many ways.

Maybe homeschooling is not an option for your family. Every situation is different. And homeschooling is not for everyone. If you do think it is an option, even a very slight one, please consider homeschooling your child or children; for as long as he or she seems to benefit from it.

If you have any questions or thoughts, feel free to post a comment below, or email me privately.

adopthaitblog@adoptionmail.com