How do you tell your loved ones and friends that you are adopting a child? Do you wait until you have a referral and a photo to share? Do you tell people as soon as you sign up with an agency? Before you sign up with an agency? Do you just tell them, as if it is a casual thing? Or do you make a big deal out of it—maybe take your parents to dinner and spill the beans; or invite everyone over for a party and have a cake that says, “We’re Adopting!” on it? I am sure that it varies from person to person, and from adoption to adoption. It probably depends on who you are sharing the news with.

When we started our first adoption, we were given an immediate referral. I had contacted several agencies for information on their programs, and heard back from one with a program in Viet Nam. They had a new program and were having difficulty getting people interested in switching their paperwork over to Viet Nam. The lady at the agency told me that she had photos of four little babies, and asked if I was interested in any of them. I said, “Yes!” By the end of the day, we knew about our little baby girl. We phoned our loved ones and friends and shared the news. When we received her first photo, we made color copies and sent them to everyone we knew.

With our second adoption, we kept it a secret until we had a referral for our son. We mailed his photo to our families as a way to announce his adoption.

With our third adoption, we went the domestic route. We told everyone we were adopting as soon as we signed a contract with our agency. Three months later we were chosen by our daughter’s birth mother, and our baby girl was born two weeks later. I was able to be in the delivery room and we spent the next few days in the hospital enjoying our new baby. Our family members that lived close by also came to meet her there. For out-of-town loved ones, we sent an email with our daughter’s stats and her photos.

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