Ruth

I’d like to tell you about our sweet baby Ruth. About two months after we started Georgia’s adoption paperwork, we decided to add another child from Haiti to our family. We were given the referral for a little girl born in January of 2005 and we named her Ruth. Had she lived, she would have turned one year old this month.

Here is an excerpt from my personal blog:

June 4, 2006

Last Friday when Tim and I were driving around doing adoption paperwork, we were discussing whether or not Tim should come to Haiti with me. I said that I didn’t think he should come because his heart strings would be tugged at and we’d end up with another child or two. He said that he was also afraid of that happening. I then ventured to say that I was worried about it, because I had been having a feeling that we were supposed to have another child. Tim said he was afraid of the same thing. I then said that I had been imagining another little boy. He said, “That’s funny, because I have been imagining another girl.” I was stunned. I hadn’t thought of a girl at all. It just seemed natural to even things up with another boy. The more I thought about it as we drove around, the more I thought about a girl, too. The strange thing was that the night before I had been emailing our adoption coordinator some of our paperwork. The whole time we have been doing paperwork for 2 children, just in case. I guess I had neglected to tell our adoption coordinator that and when she reviewed our letter to IBESR, she emailed me back that it was a funny way to say I wanted another referral. She then mentioned that she had some really cute baby girls that needed parents. I emailed her back that we were done with babies and no more girls. I told Tim about it and the next day when we were driving around, we talked about it. I told him I would email our adoption coordinator for the photos of the baby girls. I did. But it was Memorial Day weekend and our adoption coordinator was out of town. We heard from her on Tuesday. At this point Tim was changing his mind and saying we had discussed things differently than I had remembered discussing them. When we got the photos of the three babies, I felt an immediate connection to our little one. From Tuesday until Saturday morning, Tim and I talked and talked about it.

We eventually accepted the referral for Ruth. We were both excited and looked forward to being her parents. We picked her name over our 13th wedding anniversary dinner.

A few days later, we learned that she had passed away. It was a traumatic time for our family.

I grieved heavily for Ruth for quite awhile. There are still days, seven months later, that the thought of her takes my breath away.

We did accept Talley’s referral right away. I was so grateful to have Talley’s referral, and knowing about her definitely softened the blow for our children.

We have photos of Ruth up in our house. This Spring, we plan to plant a tree in our yard for her. She will always be a part of us.

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