Continued from Part One…

This was the question posed by a friend of a friend to a handful of adoption agencies:

If adopting from Haiti, particularly in the case of an older
child, should parental visits to Haiti be allowed or encouraged before
the adoption is finalized? I have heard the pros (early bonding) and
cons (feelings of abandonment when you leave without the child) on this
subject.

And here are the various responses (both pro and con, and somewhere in between) she received:

Agency 1

You are correct - there are pros and cons to both. However, in keeping with the best interest of the child - waiting to go until the adoption has been finalized - is generally the best approach. These children (especially older children) have been abandoned previously, and having you come and go - will be hard for the child. (these children have already experienced trauma and grief.) Especially in Haiti - as the time frame from when a family accepts a child proposed to them - until the time when the family can bring the child home following the adoption can be 6-12 months - so seeing you come and go during that process - could lead to confusion in the child's mind. They do not perceive time and process as an adult would. From what I have seen in the adoptive families - it is very hard on them too - as each time it becomes harder and harder to leave the child as you visit Haiti and begin to bond together during your visits. The families themselves almost become increasingly impatient in the process - and have a hard time exercising the patience that the adoption requires.

Agency 2

Yes, but it may not be a good choice. They may see you as abandoning them based on the length of time it takes to do their documents and get them out of Haiti. For a child a week is forever. Orphanage children offer suffer from attachment issues, and it may set you up in their eyes as someone who will pick them up, and then disappear again which is not what you want when they are home.

Agency 3

There are many different opinions on this. Due to the violence in Haiti this past year, family visits have not been possible for a while. This is getting better and visit trips may be allowed in the near future. Most families do not visit before the adoption is complete. We do encourage our families to send letters and photos to the child. Honestly, from my experience I don’t feel that bonding would take place during a visit. But there is a risk that if might make the child even more anxious for the process to be completed.

Continued…