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Continued from Part Two…
It was very upsetting for Tim and I. Now we’re wondering what we could have done differently to avoid her having to ride the emotional roller-coaster right along with us. We hardly ever talk about the girls to the babies. We do have photos here and there. They have seen the videos. They have been told we are leaving to visit Georgia and Talley. But we really don’t talk about them very much. In fact, it seems like the kids talk about the girls more than we do. Should we have never said a thing about them until they were coming home? Never shared photos or videos? Then again, they would have been shocked to suddenly have these new sisters without any preparation. I do not know what the answer is. Maybe we have handled the situation just fine, and simply have a super-sensitive little girl, who can’t wait to have sisters to play with? I do not like Claire being sad about her sisters, though. The other night I downloaded the video from our September trip, because I wanted to video Claire singing “Happy Birthday” to herself. She was hugely fascinated by video of Talley. In fact, after seeing one segment of Georgia, she seemed satisfied; but could not get enough of Talley. She wanted to watch the same clips over and over. I said to her once, “That’s your baby sister Talley,” and from then on, she kept saying, “That’s my baby sistuh!” with such pride. I love how compassionate she is, but I do not want the next however many months to be tainted with her anticipation of them coming home. It’s hard enough to deal with it as an adult; knowing what all is entailed. I can’t imagine how confusing this must be for Claire and Ezra (he often asks if he can go play at Georgia’s house). I am so looking forward to the girls being home, our adopting days being over, and getting down to the business of living.
So, what is the right way to handle it? Should our children not know about their new siblings until they come home? Should adoptive parents share the ups and downs of adoption with their children? Should you tell your children about their new sibling shortly before he/she comes home?
What are your opinions and experiences with this situation?
Wendy
I want to adopt from a child from Haiti. I am finally researching something God has laid on my heart for quite sometime now. Where do I, I mean we, (Married with 2 biological children) begin?
I didn’t know if you could suggest a particular agency or if you were doing this privately. I know if I don’t “step out” as God is prompting me too, I may never get a full nights rest again.
Your blog has moved me deeply.
I’m all ears……..
Holly,
How exciting for you and your family! Since you know you want to adopt from Haiti, you need to decide if you want to adopt with an agency’s help or whether you want to adopt independently. Once you have decided which route to take, you will pick an agency that best fits your family. Some agencies have specific religious requirements that you may not meet. Contact the agencies you are interested in and ask them lots of questions. Pick the one you are most comfortable with.
We are adopting independently through Foyer de Sion, and are happy with them.
http://www.foyerdesion.org/index.php
I am currently working on writing posts about which agencies have Haitian programs, whether to adopt through an agency or independently, as well as a list of links relating to Haitian adoption. So stay tuned!
Best,
Wendy
Holly,
We are married with one biological child as well and in the process of adopting 2 children from Haiti. I have had the best experience with an orphanage/foundation and if you would like some info, I’d be happy to tell you:)We were in that same place last year. It’s always easier with help from others that are in the situation.